A couple of practical things I love about Arizona

You can buy store brand milk with no growth hormones added. It isn't organic, but there are no added hormones and that is what I worry about most in milk. This milk is barely more expensive than regular milk and almost half the cost of organic.

This is the RECYCLE trash can. Yep, it is the same size as the regular trash can. Not the tiny box you get in Olathe for your recyclables. Here, they recycle just about everything, including cardboard. So, no more trips in the van with the back full of cardboard to the recycle center. We just wheel it out to the curb. We have almost as much recyclables as regular trash.

The weather! The kids get to play outside almost everyday. The sunshine and energy burned are so good for them...and me too.

Hiding His Word in our hearts

We have been memorizing scripture as a family for a while, but lately we have started focusing on studying books of the bible so that the scriptures are read and understood in their correct context. This too was prompted by reading Macarthur's little book. He suggests reading the same book or section for 30 days straight. He started with 1 John and read it every day for 30 days. Next he took on the book of John reading 7 chapters daily for a month for a total of 3 months to get through John. His point is that by the end of 30 days you have a pretty firm grasp of what you have read. You can readily remember the general area where each topic is found in the book so that you can refer back to it or point a friend in need in the right direction. Not only that, but you have hidden it in your heart and it has become a part of you, shaping the way you think and relate to the world. I started out reading 1 John on my own, but decided to read it aloud each day to the kids as well. They are young, yes, but old enough to grasp a lot of what they hear and it sparks good discussion. God's Word is living and it is true. Bible stories written for kids are valuable too and we will continue to read and enjoy them, but I believe that reading the Word of God aloud to them will help to hide it in their own little hearts for them to recall for years to come. After just short of a week I am already seeing progress in my own recollection of 1 John. This is so exciting! I love it.

Little Book, Big Message: Found by John Macarthur

My brother recommended this tiny little book to me and I have to say the message is simple, but profound. For anyone questioning what God's will is for their life and how to discern that, it is a must read. We all go through times when we feel like we can't hear God's voice or we are confused as to what direction He wants us to go. In this book Macarthur gives us 6 biblical principles for finding the direction and purpose God wants for your life.

He begins the book by saying that if God has a will for your life, He must want you to know it. It shouldn't be some big mystery that you have to work hard to discover. He is a loving father and a Sovereign God who isn't holding out on us and keeping His plan for you a secret.

I love this book so much, that I want to buy it for everyone in my life. It is rooted firmly in scripture and not just someone's off the cuff ideas.
I can't afford to buy it for everyone, but I will send it to the first person who comments and promises they will read it and pass it on if they find it worthwhile. So let me know if you are really interested in reading it and I will send it to you tomorrow! Oh, I might need your address too. ; )

I love down-sizing!

I can't describe how much I love living in a smaller place. It is so much easier to take care of. I literally have time to relax here that I never had in Kansas. Where we are temporarily living we have 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths. After living in a 5 bedroom 3.5 bath home with a basement, we thought this would be really hard. Surprisingly, it hasn't been at all. We have a lot of stuff stored in the garage because we have nowhere to put it until we buy a 4 bedroom. Shelby and Jesse are sharing a room as usual...for the time being. (Jesse has declared that he wants his own room when we move. He hates the night light and likes to wake Shelby up at the crack of dawn. He also needs his space and quiet time like no other child of ours.) Lucy and James' guitars and amps are sharing a room for now and she will move in with Shelby when we move. We have one kitchen eating area, one living room and a patio for a playroom. It takes so little time to clean this place, I am amazed! It has proven to us that when we do buy we are really only looking for one more bedroom and a school room/den. We don't ever want to go back to having to care for that much space again! It feels so free. Even though it is cramped sometimes, it is still so much more liberating than having to manage a huge place. Less to clean, less to buy, less space to fill, less expensive utilities...AHHHHH! Love it.

Multi-generational family living

I half-jokingly bring up the idea of communal living as a real option for us every once in a while because of all of the benefits I see for it. But, in all honesty, I think a more realistic option sometime in the future for us would be a multi-generational family living situation. We have so much to learn from one another and so much life and love to share. Why must we be alone? As I rolled 25 enchiladas for our dinner tonight James and I had a great conversation. I imagined what it would be like to always have someone around to talk to during menial tasks such as this. As I pondered that, I also wondered about the following 2 things:

1)Why do Americans value independence so much and seem to look down upon families who live together or help each other out? Just think about the negative stereotypes you might have heard about Mexican families who live under the same roof with grandparents, aunts or uncles. Whoever decided that living together with extended family was a bad thing? Many other cultures enjoy multi generational living situations. I can imagine that meal making and sharing, cleaning, and raising kids are much more festive occasions in their homes with everyone sharing the load while benefiting from one-another’s company. Traditions are naturally passed down and family stories are no doubt shared often. Energy is created when there are lots of hands to help and drained when a mom seems to do it all on her own. (I notice that I had a lot more energy when Jenn and her kids were here than I do now. Even with 6 kids instead of 3, sharing the load all day made a HUGE difference.)

2)Why do Americans find it acceptable to put aging parents in nursing homes if they do not need constant care? It is one thing if a parent needs constant or daily medical care that a family member isn’t able to provide in their home. In that case, there may be no other options and frequent visitations would be the next best thing. But whatever happened to people taking their parents in when they reached advanced age and didn’t want to live alone? Do we not value all of the years our parents cared for us enough to open our homes to them in their time of need? I have heard amazing stories of people who grew up with an aging grand-parent in the home and what a huge impact that made on the lives of everyone living there. We used to value the elderly much more than our culture seems to today. I hope that someday my mother-in-law, father-in-law, mom or dad would consider living with us before resigning themselves to live in a nursing home, unless, of course, they would prefer that. James and I have talked about this topic a lot and we feel really strongly about this.

1 Timothy 5:4 puts it this way: But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.

How can Christians ignore this scripture? I know that sometimes people have to make tough, gut wrenching decisions about their families, and I am not trying to minimize the prayer and thought that goes into some of these decisions. I am just airing my thoughts and wishes for my own family.
Just thinking a lot lately, about many things…

The looks I've been getting...

For the past month, ever since I have started showing, I have been getting the looks my friends with large families have told me to expect. I will be walking through the grocery store with my 3 kids and one-on-the-way and some rude person will look at me, then eyeball each of my kids, look down at my stomach and back at my face and give me a look of disgust and disapproval. The first time it happened I wasn't shocked b/c I have heard many stories of that and more happening to friends. I wasn't shocked, but I felt accosted, my privacy had been violated. It is kind of the same feeling a modest woman gets when a man looks her up and down like a piece of meat. Only, it has nothing to do with sex or lust, it has to do with disgust because I would dare bring another child into the world. Why do people have such strong opinions about how many children each family should have? Why is it anyone's business, as long as James and I are happy and willing to give it our best in parenting our kids? Why are children not commonly seen as the true gifts from God that they are? Our culture has become so obsessed with power, success and material stuff that children are often seen as little roadblocks to financial security or freedom. This has to break God's heart. He has a plan for each and every little soul he creates and those of us with the honor and privilege of raising His precious children should always be thankful that we were chosen for this all-important infinitely rewarding task.

Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. Psalm 127: 3-5

You have to buy this book! Here is a book review of Family Driven Faith

Many people ask us why we choose to homeschool, why we are so serious about at-home discipleship, and how to do it if they are interested. This book might shed some light on those questions and explain a lot about the choices we have recently made. Baucham and others like him, along with our own experiences in family ministries have really shaped the way we see our role as parents in discipling our children. We are bringing it all back to the biblical model for raising children and defining the role of the church vs. the role of parents in the process. Most of it (the book)we agree with, some of it is more extreme than we are interested in moving. (For instance, we do believe that children's and youth ministry are valuable in the correct context. For instance, if they are used as a tool to complement what kids are already learning in the home or an evangelism tool for kids from non-Christian homes.)

Family Driven Faith: Doing What it Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters Who Walk With God by Voddie Baucham. (Crossway 2007, 222 pages) $20 retail / $13 Amazon. The following review is not my own, it was written by Scott Lamb.

Thanks to statistical research produced by LifeWay, We are waking up to the reality that we are not passing down the Christian faith to our children and grandchildren. Almost 90% of teens who profess Christ in an evangelical church will walk away from Christianity by the end of their freshman year of college. If you combine a 75% departure-from-Christianity rate together with a 2-children-per-family birth rate, a first generation membership of 4,000,000 shrinks down to only 62,500 by the fourth generation.

What happened to multigenerational kingdom growth? Why are the rates of mutigenerational faithfulness so dismal in our churches? Do we need to bolster and retool the existing child and teen discipleship programs, or is this more of a systemic problem that calls for a complete overhaul?

Voddie Baucham argues for the latter in this exciting new book. And when I say "argue", what I mean is that he persuades, pleads, and preaches this message with the passion of a prophet. You will either love or despise his message, but you will not walk away apathetic to his concerns and solutions. I can only hit a few of the highlights here, but I urge you to pick up a copy and prepare to be challenged and changed.

Taking Deuteronomy 6 as the foundation of Family Driven Faith, Baucham sees modern church structures and programs as detrimental to family-based Christian discipleship. The church creates programs and hires vocational ministers to do the work of discipleship that is actually the responsibility of parents. As a result, parents are encouraged to rely on the church to disciple their children.

Instead of taking the place of parents, churches must equip and encourage parents to fulfill their God-give responsibility of family worship and family discipleship. Baucham says, "I cannot tell you exactly when we began to worship on a daily basis, but I can tell you that it changed us forever. I distinctly remember watching my son run around gathering up Bibles one day, as he anxiously anticipated our family worship, and I said to myself, How could we have missed this? Now we feel like something is missing (and it is) when we don't gather together to worship the Lord."

Part of family discipleship is catechizing (systematic teaching through questions and answers) our children. Baucham says, "The goal of catechism is to impart biblical theology. Through a series of questions and answers the child slowly learns what to believe and, more importantly, why. Catechism is not a magic bean or a silver bullet. We still have to work at teaching our children. However, the catechism is an invaluable tool that facilitates the process."

Baucham challenges parents fearful of taking on this responsibility – "If you can read, you can teach your children God's Word. All you have to do is stay a step ahead of them. …Besides, God would not have given you the responsibility unless He knew you could handle it."

In addition to Bible teaching and family worship, Baucham says that the very culture of our families must be reformed – "Our homes must be rife with the aroma of love. Those who visit us should notice immediately that they have left the world of self-serving, egocentric narcissism and have entered a safe harbor where people value and esteem others above themselves."

Multigenerational faithfulness comes at the cost of parents actually living out what the believe. Baucham says, "We cannot expect our children to rise above our example. …We can try to teach them to do as we say, not as we do, but our words can only go so far when they are contradicted by our actions."

Baucham critiques numerous modern American innovations – dating, youth groups, age-segregated ministry, anti-natalism – that far too many Christian parents and pastors have uncritically embraced. I suppose I found so much joy in his discussion of these topics on account of the fact that I share his convictions. I hope that as you think through his analysis of these concerns, perhaps thinking critically about them for the first time, that you will consider how biblical his reasoning is.

Baucham wants to be an instrument of revival in the American church – a revival that begins in the home as fathers and mothers have their hearts turned toward their own children and the future generations to come. He says, "If I teach my son to keep his eye on the ball but fail to teach him to keep his eyes on Christ, I have failed as a father. We must refuse to allow trivial, temporal pursuits to interfere with the main thing. Making the team is a tremendous achievement; however, it must be put in its proper perspective. No sports endeavor will ever be as important as becoming a man or woman of God."


(Scott Lamb is one of the founding pastors of Providence Baptist Church, St. Louis. Visit him online at www.AChristianManifesto.com).

I'd encourage any Christian parent to buy and read this book.

Glad to have my honey back!

I didn't know how much I missed James until I saw him. I was half-asleep when he got home at 1 am and as soon as I heard Dakota rustling around to go greet him my heart started racing. I knew after driving for 16 hours straight on Sunday he'd have to fall right into bed and catch some zzzs, so I tried to pretend I was asleep. That lasted all of 2 minutes before I had to roll over and make sure it was really him. It was, in flesh and blood. The tears are stinging my eyes just remembering how I felt. I gave him a big hug and kiss and told him I was so glad he was home, and then I let him sleep. Shelby had already promised to wake him up at 5:30 am, so I couldn't be selfish and keep him up. 5:30 came and went, but at 6 am sharp Jesse crawled in bed with us. James told me later that he woke up at 6:30 with Jesse's arm wrapped tightly around his neck and wondered where in the world he was and what was happening to him. When he saw it was just his son embracing his Daddy he snuggled him in and went back to sleep. Shelby came in around 7:15 and woke James up asking him to come downstairs with her. He followed her and went back to sleep on the couch while she watched Imagination Movers, snuggling under the same blanket. When I awoke around 7:45, I rolled over to find Jesse still sound asleep. I watched his eyes pop open and he sat straight up and yanked the covers back to reveal only James' pillow. Jesse isn't a fast mover in the morning, but that morning he shot out of bed and ran downstairs to make sure it wasn't all a dream, that his Daddy was really here. It will take a little while for us all to get back into a rhythm, but all is right in the Lichtenberger home. As crazy as the kids' emotions are right now trying to process all that has happened over the past few months and all that is still up in the air, they feel safe and loved and at peace with Daddy home. And, so do I.

Milestones and Memories Slideshow

milestones and memories made

Jenn and her kids, along with her mom left this morning. It was a tearful goodbye, but it was time. I am still amazed at how wonderful and relaxing our time was together. With the exception of the last 3 days ( all 6 kids were sick) we had a great time and everyone got along. The bright side of the last 3 days was that Allison shared them with us. I just feel bad for her having to be around sick kids on her vacation. She was such a trooper, though, and very gracious as always. Here are just a few of the milestones reached and memories made over the past month for both us and our kids:

~Lucy learned to blow kisses and follow simple directions
~Mya and Makenna got their ears pierced
~Mason lost his first tooth
~Shelby got new glasses with transition lenses
~We found out that baby #4 is a girl
~We taught Shelby, Jesse, Mya and Mason how to clean the bathrooms and vacuum the floors all by themselves...and they actually all like it
~Kenna taught everyone how to do the "shake a booty" dance and Lucy says, "shake" now
~Jenn ate 3 meals a day, almost everyday
~I gained 4 pounds in 3 weeks and was actually told to slow down for the first time (I have only gained a total of 12 and I am just over half way there)
~Lucy attached herself to Jenn and would choose her over me sometimes
~Lucy had her first trip to the ER last week and was diagnosed with bronchialitis
~Jesse started writing his name with no help from me
~Shelby read several books aloud to the girls
~We found out that 2 kids per paying adult eat free at Denny's on Tuesdays and Saturdays...and we visited 3
~Taco Tuesdays at Del Taco...3 tacos for $1...new tradition
~Kenna and Lucy learned to fight with each other over babies and strollers
~The kids were all caught several random times telling each other they loved each other
~we learned that 3 weeks is probably the max for 6 kids to spend together in close quarters b/c they started to get on each others' nerves at the end...probably also b/c they were sick
~Jenn and I did a bible study together and had lots of discussion
~we had family movie nights 3 times where we'd have popcorn and m&ms and lay on the floor to watch movies together
~The playground and library were favorite attractions
~Jenn became addicted to McDonald's sweet tea
~We cooked 8 freezer meals
~The girls took baths together and the boys showered together with swim trunks on to save time and water
~Jenn, Allison and I whitened our teeth last night and laughed like crazy people
~The boys' days were the odd days and the girls' days were the evens. On their days they got to take the dog out (and pick up her poop) and double buckle in the back seat of the van or Jenn's Yukon...Boy, did they love it when it was their day!
~Jenn and I watched meaningless TV Monday-Weds nights. American Idol, The Bachelor and Lost...I haven't watched this much TV in literally years. We ate lots of ice cream while we did it too...reminded me of college. I know that is over now b/c James will be here tomorrow and we don't like to watch much TV. It was fun and relaxing while it lasted.
~Every night before turning in, Jenn and I would take Dakota out together to "protect" each other
~We had an amazing system down for routines, meals, snacks, bedtime and discipline and are seriously considering communal living in the future. ; )
~We watched the following movies after the kids went to bed: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 1 & 2, Juno, Little Miss Sunshine, 27 Dresses, and Nights in Rodanthe, along with the last disc of season 4 of the Office
~We missed our husbands and talked about them a lot
~We highlighted each others' hair
~Mason taught us all a lot about dinosaurs
~and much much more

This was one of the best months of my life, by far. I will never forget this precious time with my precious friend. I miss her already, but I know we will visit each other often. I will post pics later. I have to fall into bed now.

Baby Number 4 is a Girl!

It is official. We had our ultrasound today and we are having our third girl. We are thrilled to have what looks so far to be another healthy perfect baby. My Mom, Shelby and Jesse went to the appt. and we called James on the phone since he couldn't be here. It was sad not having James there, but we have a video of the whole thing to show him. I am so glad my mom was there. I love it when she can share these priceless moments with me. She was so excited that it is a girl. That makes it fun because a lot of people don't really get excited after your 2nd child. Shelby and Jesse are a little disappointed because they really wanted a boy. In fact, Shelby had been praying for a boy for months. I will never forget the look on Shelby's face when the ultrasound tech said it was a girl. Her little eyes bugged out and she clenched her teeth and tried not to cry. Jesse popped open my phone and immediately called his daddy to tell him. He wasn't as disappointed as Shelby was, go figure. I thought he'd be sad he wasn't getting a brother. But, in the car on the way home I asked him if he was sad that he was going to be the only boy besides daddy and he said that he would only be the only boy until we have another baby boy. He is a little confused. James was excited and the first thing he said to Shelby was, "How are we going to pay for all those weddings?" Hopefully they will have my same taste and philosophy about weddings and not want to go all out extravagant. We have a while to save, thankfully!

In other news, Allison arrived this afternoon. We picked her up from the airport after my appointment. So glad she is here!!!!

James last week

This is James last week at Cedar Ridge and his last week in Kansas. He had a pretty emotional day yesterday. He called me after second service pretty choked up. I had to fight back my own tears all day. We are going to miss our Cedar Ridge family so much. The friends we made, the teens and parents we worked with, the lives we were intimately involved with, the babies we saw grow, the kids our own children love, the young people we watched graduate and become adults, the mentors who challenged and supported us...The miracles we saw happen, the tears we shed and the tears we wiped away, the love and accountability, the hundreds of memories time can't erase. This was such a precious time of intense growth for us. We are different people than when we began. We learned so much about God, ourselves, and the importance of family all within those walls.

I am in this sort of vacation land in AZ with one of my best friends staying with me. I have kept so busy that I haven't really thought about all of the ways our lives are getting ready to change. It is so exciting on one hand and frightening on the other. I am hopeful for the future and sad about what we are leaving behind. I can't wait for James to arrive and for us to start this new chapter. We have never taken a leap of faith such as this one. Bitter sweet, challenging, exciting times....

Princess party at Kid's Play

There is a cool place at the Anthem outlet mall called Kid's Play where they have storytime every Weds. Mother Goose tells them as story and sings songs with them and they have a snack. We have gone the last 2 Wednesdays and the kids love it. This week's theme was "Princess Party." We didn't have Prince costumes for the boys, so they are super-heroes.

Lucy is wearing her new princess costume she got from her cousins Lincoln, Lauren and Merideth for Christmas. So sweet! She felt so fancy in her dress and tiara...thought she was too young for that, but she wants to be just like her big sister and Mya.



The kids look like they are really having fun, huh? They were just really concentrating, I think.

Mason was telling everyone he was "Dark Vader."

Beautiful Boy

Each one of my kids has a special song that I sing only to them when I tuck them in. Shelby's is "I Will" by the Beatles, Jesse's is "Beautiful Boy" by John Lennon and Lucy's is "You are My Sunshine." I change the words a bit to make them personalized. Jesse's song goes like this,

Your name is Jesse Dean
and you're my little man.
You're my gift from God, my miracle,
and my hearts desire.
My beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
beautiful boy.
You're my beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
beautiful boy.

Lately everytime I sing it, Jesse sings along but makes up his own words to be about me. It makes my heart MELT! He wraps his little arm around my neck while he sings and Jesse gives hugs like none other! Anyone who has received a Jesse hug around the back of the shoulders knows what I am talking about. He sneaks up and wraps his arms around you while pressing his cheek to your cheek. He is going to be quite the romantic when he is older. (In the pic above, he is giving James one of those famous hugs.)
Here is what he sings to me while I am singing to him:

Your name is Jeanna Dawn
and you're my little Mom.
You're my gift from God, my miracle,
and my hearts desire.
My beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
beautiful Mom.
You're my beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
beautiful Mom.

It makes all it all worth-while. Being a Mom...ahhhh!

Still feels like a vacation

We moved here almost a month ago and it still feels like we are on vacation. I know that it is mostly due to the fact that the Wiltses are here and we are still having a blast, but I think it is also due to the weather. There have been a few cold days (in the 50s) but nothing like Kansas right now. We have all been healthy for the first time in January. And, everyone continues to get along. Sure, the kids have their sharing issues every other day or so, but long periods of time go by w/o any squabbles. We have had a lot of excursions see Jenn's blog for more about that.

Jenn and I are starting a mini Bible study tomorrow. We are reading through and discussing a book by John Macarthur called Found: God's Will (Find the Direction and Purpose God Wants for Your Life). My brother is going through it for the 3rd time while he continues to pray about and decide what to do when he returns from India in July. He says it is really practical and highly recommends it. So, when he told me about it at the same time Jenn and I were looking for a short study to do while she is here, we decided this was the one. We are both at times of transition in our lives and ministries and it seems to fit.

Wish I had more time to post. I want to remember every detail of this time. Hopefully Jenn will take enough pics and we can have a pictorial journal of this month we had together.