these arms...

These arms were made to hold babies. What will these arms do when my babies are all big kids?

  

My youngest baby isn't a baby anymore. Technically she is a toddler, but at least I can still carry her around. There's just about nothing in this world that is sweeter than the feeling of a baby laying her head on your shoulder, totally limp, formed to your body and trusting that you'll never drop her, one hand grasping the arm that is holding her and the other one twisting her hair because she is sleepy and that is how she soothes herself.  It is a little piece of heaven! It makes every Momma wish that the baby phase could last just a little longer.  Pretty soon, they are too big to hold and too squirmy even if you could lift them.  I guess that is one reason why God gives us nieces and nephews and eventually grand babies...

so our arms can always be useful.

Sometimes I still pull my big 8 year old Shelby down on my lap in the rocking chair and rock her while running my fingers through her hair and giving her a million kisses on the top of the head, just like I do to Preslie and Lucy. Jesse too.  Every once in a while I pick him up hug him tight patting his head down on my shoulder. It is hard to believe that one day he will tower over me. Each night before bed he always asks me to pray for him. Even when James tucks them in, Jesse will come find me and ask me to pray. I always sit down on the floor by him and hug him into me and I pray...My prayers are different each night but something I always include for each of my babies is for them to know and love God and to always hear God's voice and know how much He loves them and how much we love them.

I love my babies...and I tell them that even when I am an old Noni they will still be my babies,

no matter how old they get.

best friends..

Right now, the kids are at the perfect age to enjoy one another. They are best friends

and fighting is rare.  They all have their moments where they are crabby, but for the most part they

get along really well.  They are always creating, pretending, and inventing things with one another.

They make up songs and dances, build forts, and love to explore. They even all want to

share the same room.  That desire will probably be short lived, especially for the boy,

but I am going to allow them to do it as long as they still want to.

I pray that they will always be friends.

compromise and perspective...

He said, "I've never been married, so I can only imagine how difficult it must be to have to form your own will to someone else's. It must be tremendously difficult, and for that I admire you. Giving up one's own will for the judgement of another even at the risk of sacrificing..." These words are taken from a book I have been reading called Jewel by Brett Lott.

This is the 4th book in a row that I have read over the past month with the underlying theme of the sacrifices we (women) make for our husbands. It would seem to be a coincidence since three of which were written by different authors...2 were set in the past, 2 current day...one in Europe, one in the South and 2 in LA. None of them mention this underlying theme in the summary...and each were recommended to me by a different friend. I would blow it off as a coincidence, except for the fact that I know this is how God often speaks to me. When He brings a theme into my life through what I am reading, listening to or watching, there is always a lesson to learn and I stop and listen for what He is trying to teach me.

I feel so blessed to have a husband who shares the same hopes, dreams, values and desires that I do. Sure, there are things we disagree on, but on the big issues we are on the same page. My Mom is a relationship coach and she calls those big issues "non-negotiables." We don't disagree on anything that is "non-negotiable" or essential to either of us.  I know he has my best interests at heart and he knows I have his. We trust one another and we haven't ever faced a circumstance where one of us had to give up something in order for the other one to be happy. There may come a day when that happens, but so far it hasn't. Sure we have made compromises for one another, but never to the extent that either of us has be resentful about it.

When I look back at some of our individual dreams when we first got married and see how different our lives are from what either of us thought we wanted, it seems like we have both given up most of what we thought we wanted, but not for each other... Our dreams and plans changed over the years because we gave up our own selfish desires for whatever plan God has for us. We have both handed our lives and our futures over to God and willingly gone where He has taken us, together. At times, it has been difficult, but we have grown. No resentments...no regrets.  In fact, we have more joy in the life God has chosen for us than we would have if our own plans would have worked out.

I think resentments and regrets come from us not being willing to let go of our idea of how we want our lives to be. It is all a matter of perspective. When we focus on ourselves rather than the big picture, (how we fit into our families and impact our loved ones or what impact our life has on eternity) we become stuck in the selfishness cycle. We can ponder our situations and become disillusioned because our life doesn't look like we imagined it to until we are bitter and full of self-pity.  Some of the characters I have read about lately have used their husbands choices for their families as a catalyst for a lifetime of bitterness. Yet, others have made the conscious decision to take what life hands them, face their reality, learn, grow and live in a way that please God.  Perspective makes a HUGE difference. With the right perspective compromise comes naturally, so even when we have to give something up, it doesn't feel like we are losing anything.

Maybe that is the lesson.  Keep things in perspective.

All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord, those who have been called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:28

Bible Stories for Growing Kids...

I checked out  Bible Stories for Growing Kids from the library and I am buying it because it is so good.  Written by my favorite author, Francine Rivers, this book takes classic bible stories to the next level for grade school aged kids. We love it! 

We've been too busy lately to blog... and the weather has been so amazing that we just want to be outside every day, all day.  Most days, after school, we go to a park and play. I love to go to the one by our house b/c it is small enough to watch all of the kids while reading a book myself.

I have lots to say, but some of it has to wait a few weeks. We have some pretty exciting things coming up pretty soon and I am walking on air excited for the future!

Family Fun on a warm January day...

embrace the camera...momma & daddy 1.20

Thought we'd have a little fun with this "embrace the camera" since we only do it every so often.  Thursday is James day off, so we had some fun at the park this morning. Shelby has become quite the little photographer!

Notice, I am rocking the velour sweat suit just for you Emily!

Gotta get some proof for the kiddos that Daddy was, in fact, strong enough to lift Momma and Momma was, believe it or not, light enough to not break his back when they were 37 & 40.  We still got it!

 

And, let's not to forget the gross-out factor.  Kids, we are still and always will be madly in LOVE...

get used to it.

Uhaul and geography tests...

Last fall I decided that it was time for me to make a little extra money to help us get ahead. I have a friend who works for Uhaul road side assistance from home, at night when her kids are in bed. She answers calls while watching movies or reading and makes some extra cash for her family. It is an excellent set up, if you ask me, so I wanted a little piece of the Uhaul pie. She referred me and got me an interview right away. I was excited and already mentally calculating how soon we'd be able to meet some financial goals with my new income. Then, I got the pre-interview call informing me that I had to take a geography and typing test and that I should be sure and study all of the states and major cities and be able to label a map.

Yes, I am a teacher. Yes, I have a graduate degree. Yes, I homeschool my kids. So, I should be able to label a world map, let alone a map of my own country, right? BUT, geography is my stinkiest subject. I am not a traveler and I am a tiny bit embarrassed to admit that I have little interest in becoming one. I felt my heart begin to race every time I thought about that crazy test. I almost cancelled the interview just so I wouldn't have to suffer the humiliation of failing the test and not being able to get a job that didn't even require a high school diploma. I would have been so angry with myself if I'd have done that. Plus, what would that teach my kids? So, I went online and took some map tests. On the first map of the United States, I scored like 67% and honestly, that was better than I thought I would do...sad. After 3 or 4 times through the test, I was scoring in the 90s. The last time I took it I got a 97%. I was so proud of my little old self and my hubby and kids were proud of me too.

{sidenote: James scored in the 90s the first time...can't there be one thing that man isn't great at? Oh yeah, there is still golf. : ) }
So I got dressed up all professional like and drove downtown to the Uhaul headquarters to take the tests and interview for the job. I got a 96% on the test and I would have scored higher but there was a whole section about Canada, like provinces and abbreviations and other crazy stuff I had no clue about. What? No one told me I had to know Canada and I guessed on every one. I was sweating bullets, but pleasantly surprised to get such a high score. I interviewed and was offered the job, but the only shift was 6am to noon Weds - Fri, totally not an option for us considering that my entire check would go to childcare. I asked them to call me if a night shift came available.
So, I didn't take the job, but I proved to myself that my rusty old brain can still learn. For that alone, I'd say it was an experience worth having.
You know what else is interesting? From the very beginning I never had a peace about getting a part time job, but I was still determined to do it. James even discouraged me, saying that we could find other ways to meet our goals and that he didn't want to give up his evenings with me or see me spread myself too thin with homeschooling and all that raising 4 kids entails. Still, I am a control freak and I wanted to find a way to make my plan work. I even applied at Bath and Body Works and Marshalls...never got called. Now I know why I wasn't supposed to work and I feel like God made sure those doors didn't open for me for a reason. It is just not the season for that in our family. Not that it never will be. Lately, I have been thinking about what I would like to do when I do go back to work. I have been feeling more and more like I will do something part-time someday in the not-so-distant future. I will wait for the peace that accompanies a decision like that first, though, and I will listen to my husband, who loves me and wants what is best for me.

to be really known...

Doesn't everyone on some level want to be really known? To not only be known, but loved and accepted for who they are, warts and all.  I have something inside of me that wants to be able to reveal my whole heart to another living being and have them wrap me in their arms and say, "I know the ugliest parts of you {even your idiosyncrasies} and still I adore you."

Not that I want them to feed or encourage those ugly parts or make me feel okay about them...I really want them to love me and accept me, but to help me grow and make me better...pull me out of myself and hold me accountable, all the while gently and patiently loving me.

This need to be known and loved unconditionally is common to man.  It was placed in our hearts by the One who created us...the only One who can truly meet that need. What a comfort it is to be known!

You have searched me, LORD,

and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue

you, LORD, know it completely.

You hem me in behind and before,

and you lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,”

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place,

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body;

all the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts,God!

How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand—

when I awake, I am still with you.

Psalm 139:1-18

habits, idiosyncrasies or addictions?

hab·it: an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.
id·i·o·syn·cra·sy: a characteristic, habit, mannerism, or the like, that is peculiar to an individual.
ad·dic·tion: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
 
Ok, so that leaf I turned over means that I am revealing to my kids my personality...the good and the bad, the admirable as well as the just plain weird. Some people might call me high maintenance in a few areas, and I am just gonna have to be okay with that.  It's not like I get fake nails, have weekly manis and pedis or massages or get my hair done every month. Not that there is necessarily anything wrong with those things on occasion, but I am just not that kind of high maintenance. In fact, I would call my little "habits" or "perceived needs" my idiosyncrasies.  That sounds better than addictions, right, and I think the above definition fits. 
 
3 of my idiosyncrasies involve necessities for a good night's sleep. 

1) I have been listening to Musical Acupuncture on repeat every single night for the past 3 1/2 years to help me fall asleep and fall back to sleep once I wake up. I originally bought it to use occasionally when I was having a bad flare-up and it really helped with pain management. Then, I used it for labor preparation and labor and delivery for my last 3 {natural} births.  After having Lucy, I found that I had listened to that song so much that I had a hard time sleeping without it. Anyone with a newborn waking her up 3 times a night will do whatever she can to make sure she sleeps, so I continued to listen to it...and now close to 4 years later, I still can't wean myself off of it.  Up until about 6 months ago, I actually slept with headphones every night.  Since then, my {incredibly gracious, but sometimes grouchy} husband has let me listen to it on his ipod speaker. At first it woke him up several times a night, but now I think he secretly likes it...even though he makes fun of it on occasion. (sidenote: I never listen to the guided track, just the music.  The guided portion is a little new agey for my tastes, so i avoid it.)


2) I can't sleep without a fan for white noise. Yes, I need both white noise and Musical Acupuncture.  Needing a fan to sleep is pretty common, though, so I don't feel like a freak for this one. My whole family has this same issue, except James. He is going to be one of those grandpas who falls asleep in the middle of a family gathering one day.

3) I can't sleep unless the house is clean, especially the kitchen and living room.  I will not go to bed until the dishwasher is running, and all of the counters are clean. We fill one dishwasher full of dishes per day, run it at night, and James empties it every morning.  When the rotation gets off, it throws the whole day off.

4) Of course I have to put coffee on the list of habits...probably more like addictions, truthfully. I have coffee or latte twice a day everyday.  2 cups in the morning and 1 or 2 in the afternoon during rest time. I love everything about coffee...taste, smell & experience. My favorite drink by far is a straight up grande latte at Starbucks. Now that I have James' stovetop espresso maker and a milk frother, I am set up!

5) This is the embarrassing one, but it probably reveals a lot about my personality{I need to ask my sister, the counselor} and I am trying to be real, right?! So, way back when we were told we would probably NEVER get pregnant on our own {HA!} and I was labeled INFERTILE {double HA!}, I got into the habit of buying pregnancy tests in bulk off of ebay.  You can get like 12 for $1 (click on picture below) Once, I got 100 for $10...score!  So, when we were trying to get pregnant I would start testing early every month and take 1-3 tests a month until it was evident that I was NOT pregnant.  Friends would call me for pg tests because they knew I always had a stash.  Since then, even though we really think we are finished having children and are very careful about it, I still usually take at least 1 test a month, just for kicks.  Why is this fun for me? I don't know...I am a freak, I guess. I take it and imagine how I would feel if it was positive.  How would I tell James? How would he react? For about 3-5 minutes it is a fun little mind game I play with myself. {kids, I never said I wasn't strange...are you really surprised?}

6) Lastly, I have a love affair with calendars and datebooks...planning and scheduling are huge habits in my life. Whenever I feel really stressed out, sometimes I just print of a weekly planning sheet and fill that sucker up from dawn to dusk with what I plan to do each hour of the day.  Whether or not it all actually gets done isn't the point.It physically lowers my blood pressure just to go through the process. (another activity I might want to check with Jeka about)  Also, I have a photographic (memory when I want to use it) so I can wad it up and throw it away, but I will remember everything I planned. I function best when I maintain a schedule, but I am lightening up, remember, so I am still making the schedules, but I am much more flexible with them and I schedule in "down time" too, just to make sure.

I am sure I have more, but I can't think of them right now.  My mom, sister and I joke around a lot about all of our family's idiosyncrasies and how anyone who marries into the family will have a lot of adjusting to do.  I think it is pretty common to have little weirdnesses that make a person unique, right?  I can already see some popping up in my kiddos' behavior.  Just makes me love them even more! I like weird.

our kicks...

Shelby and Jesse got Heelys for Christmas.  They've been asking for them forever and I finally felt like they were old enough to handle them this year.  Now they race around on them all over the place, especially when we are in the grocery store b/c the slick floors are perfect for skating. I don't let them do it when it is crowded, but if an aisle is empty I let them skate down it.  I kind of wish I had some in my size just to see how they work. A 37 year old woman in Heelys...frightening.

Speaking of that 37 year old woman, I got me some toning tennis shoes...only a middle aged woman would actually try these, right? Well, when my mom was in the hospital, I noticed that most of the nurses wore these bad boys.  I figured they must be pretty comfy because nurses always pick the most comfy shoes since they are always on their feet.  Then, I worked in the nursery at church with a girl who had some on so I asked her if she felt more toned after wearing them. She said she really couldn't tell a difference in toning, but she is a teacher and on her feet all day and they have really helped her lower back pain. I am also on my feet all day {except sometimes during rest time} and I have always had lower back pain, so I thought I'd give them a try. I had a 30% off at Kohls coupon and they were already marked down from $99 to $49, so I got them for about $35.

I have to say, old lady shoes or not, they are the most stinking comfortable shoes I have ever had.  I wore them all day the first day I had them and I actually had sore muscles in my thighs, so maybe they do tone.  (and my back did feel a little better, seriously) We'll see.

 Maybe I can get one of those ab toning belts, and shaking weights too and I will never have to work out again! not

one is the loneliest number...

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. - Mother Teresa

Loneliness breaks my heart. It always has. I remember walking through a nursing home as a young child and seeing the sweet old faces light up at the possibility that they might have a visitor or that even a stranger might be willing to stop and notice them, maybe share a few words or a shake of the hand. Those soft frail hands with paper thin skin gripping my small chubby hands as if they could recapture some of the magic of their youth through me.  Their piercing eyes looking deep into my soul longing to connect with someone, anyone.

Loneliness is an epidemic now.  I would venture to guess that there are just as many young lonely people as old.  Technology promising to keep us all more connected has actually pulled us apart making our relationships more shallow and superficial than ever. On top of that, we look at our friends facebooks or blogs and assume that their lives are too full for us because they have so much action from their readers. we stop reaching out to them and they assume the same about us, so they stop as well.  So, what many of us have is a very active online life but a very lonely reality.

For years, I have had many of my friends and family members tell me that they were just plain lonely.  {Mostly women, who I never would have guessed could be lonely.}

They have full schedules and online lives, but no one to really connect with on a heart level. They feel left out by friends, unwanted, or just plain ignored.

 People (including myself) offer up empty advice to "just make more effort," or "invite yourself along," "try to get involved with your church," or "join a women's group." Then, when they don't take our advice, we kind of blame them for their loneliness and say, "they are bringing it upon themselves."

Would we say the same thing to a person who was physically sick even if the illness was brought about by their own choices? Do we not bring meals, offer to babysit, run errands, or just sit for hours by the sides of people who are ill or in the hospital? The church (God's family) is generally awesome at "being there" for the sick, but what about the lonely? 

I find it ironic that we do everything we can to help those who are sick knowing that all we really have to offer is our presence. We can't cure them or make them recover more quickly. We can pray for them, but it is ultimately out of our control. 

However, for the brother or sister who is lonely, we really do have the power to help them.  All that is required is our presence and it just might be the REMEDY as well.  What is the aversion we have for reaching out to them. we all know someone who is lonely. Maybe they are hard to bring out of their shell...maybe we don't have a lot in common and we find it difficult to find things to talk about...so, we either give up quickly or decide it isn't even worth the effort.  Isn't a broken heart worth the effort? Because that is the ultimate result of loneliness.

When I first moved across the country a few years ago I went through a long season of loneliness. With four kids, a loving husband and parents living close by it would seem to be impossible to feel lonely. Yet, I was.  I longed for a friend to connect with, be silly or cry with, to share my life with. I have found that it is pretty common for stay-at-home moms to battle loneliness, so I know I am not the only one.

I am so thankful for the ladies God sent into my life who reached out and made me their friend. A few of those ladies moved pretty quickly after we became close friends, but the time we had together was precious. Over the past several months I have made more friends...I feel less lonely, but it still creeps in sometimes and I miss my Kansas friends who I could drop in on at a moments notice, feed them left overs for lunch, be ugly around, share a good cry or just hang with.

 It is true, people do need to make more of an effort to come out of their loneliness, just like they need to make more of an effort to take care of their health. But, we do have power {and the privilege} to make a difference in the lives of people who feel alone. We simply need to make more of an effort to be there for them...In person, not just online.

take a lap, son...

(Every time Jesse had to take a lap, Preslie followed behind him...so cute!)

Jesse is playing basketball for the first time. He and Shelby are playing on the same team through Upward Basketball at our church. More about that later.

So, Daddy is the coach in the family. He knows all there is to know about sports...all sports except for golf, probably. He has played almost every sport and coached for years. Mom, on the other hand, knows very very little about sports. I quit every sport I ever tried when it got to be a little hard, and did not have a competitive spirit when I was younger.  I have some regrets in that department. Because of that, one part of the Lichtenberger creed is "Lichtenbergers never give up and always finish a season."

Right now, James work schedule is a real drag. He works from 9-6:30 MTW & F and Saturdays from 9:30-1:30.  That means he misses the kids games on Saturdays and has very little time to practice with them during the week. That leaves little old me to help them train during the week.  Scary!  Although, I did play basketball for 1/2 of a season in the 8th grade, so I can at least play on a 1st grade level.  I can shoot, pass, dribble a little...And I am really good at getting kids in line. 

Jesse is an amazing little guy. He is sweet and compassionate, creative and talented. He is a strong boy with a sensitive side...a sensitive heart that can be worn on his sleeve sometimes. It is going to be important for his Daddy and I to help him control his emotions in an age appropriate way without breaking his spirit. In an attempt to train him how to control his emotions in sports, I had him take a lap every time he whined or complained during our basketball practice the other day at the park. He could walk or run, but he had to make it all the way around the court.  Then, I passed the ball to him over and over until he could catch it without stepping back or flinching.  I was pretty dang proud of him by the end of practice, and patting myself on the back for my ingenuity as a coach...something I have never been. I could have coddled him when he whined about it being hard or cried that he was tired, but he is going to be a MAN someday, and he needs to learn to act like one. We are old school when it comes to this.  He already has a sensitive side and can tend to lean to it without us encouraging him to explore it. The confidence in his eyes at the end of that practice was worth the hard work. It blew me away what a difference my approach made in his behavior.

 Today was their first game and it was a riot. There are cheerleaders cheering for them and they have real jerseys. At the beginning of the game, the cheerleaders make a tunnel for each player to run through as they are announced individually over the loud speaker. Pretty exciting stuff! The coaches pray with the kiddos and do a little devo each practice. During half-time of the game, someone gave a testimony and invited everyone to church on Sunday or to simply speak with someone if they are interested in finding out more about Jesus. It is a really cool ministry.
(If your church has the facility to do something like this, you should totally suggest it to your Children's minister, and be sure to volunteer to head it up as well. Or, find a church league near you. click Upward to visit their site.)

(sidenote: Lucy wasn't in the mood to model, obviously.  But, she did use the potty all day today!)

Noni and Papa joined us for the game, of course, and helped me keep Preslie and Lucy entertained.

turning over a new blog leaf...

So, for the past several months, I have pretty much just reported what is going on in the family and uploaded pictures to keep up with my"scrapbook," that is this blog.  However, this blog is also supposed to be my journal so that when I am long gone or when my kids are older wondering what kind of crazy Momma raised them up, they can look back at this and see who I am (was), how I lived my life, what I loved and despised, my passions, and ramblings and what my personality was like. I want to paint a real picture for them of who I am and what their childhood was like (at least from my perspective, of course.)

I was inspired by a book I recently read by my favorite author, Francine Rivers.  The book was called Her Mother's Hope and it has a follow-up called Her Daughter's Dream.  In the book you see life from both the mother and daughter's perspective. She parents each of her kids in the way she feels will best develop their individual character, and while it is effective in meeting her goals, it drives a wedge between her and her daughter. Things that the mother says or does that seem harsh to the daughter are actually rooted in love, though the daughter is unable to see it because the mother doesn't share her perspective with her daughter. Their relationship is very strained because of the lack of communication and constant inaccurate assumptions made on both sides. It really got me to thinking about my own kids and whether or not they will understand my intentions in the way I parent each of them individually.

My hope is that through this journal, (my blog) my kids will see the intentions behind my decisions and actions and know that everything I do is rooted in love. I will make some mistakes along the way and sometimes totally fail at what I am trying to accomplish as a mother. They won't always agree with the decisions their father and I make, but by knowing who we are and the way we think, and how deeply we love God, each other and every one of them, hopefully, at least they won't resent us for our choices.  I know what a difference it made to me when I finally saw my parents as human beings...a Mom and Dad but also a woman and man...with hopes, dreams and values that guided their lives and that they did the best they could with what they had been taught themselves. Knowing what makes them tick and appreciating how their personalities shape their decisions makes it impossible to withhold grace...And, I guess Grace is what I am talking about here in a nut shell.

So, I am bringing my personality back into the blog.

I pulled it out because of a traumatic experience I went through with a friend who had the audacity to speak out on her blog about The Shack and Facebook.(I know, how could she possibly think she could share her opinions about such cultural icons and survive?) She was treated really unfairly for sharing her thoughts and I hurt for her. At the same time, I thought back over all of my posts and wondered if I had ever inadvertently hurt a friend or family member with my words...just opinions...just passing thoughts...we ALL have them.  But, some people are more sensitive than others, and I would never want to hurt anyone just for the sake of being heard.  So, I shut my mouth.  Sure, over the past year or so I have still let a couple of my opinions slip out and it isn't as though I have been fake or anything like that.  I have mostly just stuck to the facts and this blog has been mainly a pictorial timeline of sorts, boring, not even interesting for me to reread let alone for my kids in years to come.

So, I am back.  I have a bigger filter and I am keeping my tongue under closer watch with the hopes that no one (especially my loved ones) ever reads more into what I say than I intend for them to.  But, I am back and I feel my wheels already turning with ideas and lessons I have learned, memories I have forgotten to share, and so much more.  Sorry, kids...your Momma was going through a weird season. But I grew A LOT.  Someday you will understand. Have some grace!

Take Care of Your Teeth...

Yesterday, as I sat in the dentist's chair waiting to get a crown, I shared with the technician that I would have rather been in labor and deliver a baby naturally than sit there and have them work on my mouth. It is quite embarrassing to be 37 years old and afraid to go to the dentist. I don't know when my fear of the dentist began, but it has gotten to the point that I seriously almost have a panic attack when the doctor pulls out the needle or starts drilling. I get light-headed and have trouble breathing. I have to use what I learned in labor and focus on deep belly breaths, while reciting Philippians 4:13.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me..."
I think the biggest thing I am afraid of is that nerve pain that sometimes comes while they are drilling...the same type of unrelenting pain I remember having when I got dry sockets after getting my wisdom teeth out. That is the worst pain I have felt in my life. Labor and pushing a baby out times 10 and that is how I remember it. I imagine that that is what it feels like when you have to get a root canal, and many times getting a crown leads to a root canal, so I was freaking out.

What made it worse and better at the same time was the radio station that was playing in the office...Cirrus Love Songs. So at one point, the long version of "Tonight I Celebrate my Love for You" was playing. I am sitting in the chair with two sets of hands in my mouth, one of which was drilling on my upper back left tooth, while these lyrics BLARED above me.

Tonight I celebrate my love for you
It seems the natural thing to do
Tonight no one's gonna find us
We'll leave the world behind us
When I make love to you
Tonight I celebrate my love for you
And hope that deep inside you feel it too
Tonight our spirits will be climbing
To the sky lit up with diamonds
When I make love to you tonight

Tonight I celebrate my love for you (ooh)
And that midnight song is gonna come shining through
Tonight there'll be no distance between us
What I want most to do
Is to get close to you tonight

Tonight I celebrate my love for you
And soon this old world will seem brand new
Tonight we will both discover
How friends turn into lovers
When I make love to you

Tonight I celebrate my love for you (ooh)
And that midnight song is gonna come shining through
Tonight there'll be no distance between us
What I want most to do
Is to get close to you

Tonight I celebrate my love for you

AWKWARD! Yet, it did give me something to distract me and it made me wonder why people don't write love songs any more.
{Not icky ones like that, but real [make you cry and think about your love] ones.}
I think that is why I like country music so much because it is the only genre that still has true, telling a story and not trying to be artsy and abstract, love songs. Or, maybe I am just totally out of touch and there are new love songs being written everyday, I just don't know where to find them. I will have to ask my more culturally minded hip friends.

Speaking of love, I am so thankful for my sweetheart husband who got up early with me yesterday to "support me." I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before and I woke up early unable to go back to sleep. I was downstairs making coffee when my, usually sleeps until the last minute, husband came down into the kitchen and scooped me up in his arms saying that he wanted to get up and come down to "support me" on this rough morning when I had to face my fears and go to the dreaded dentist. He usually makes fun of me over issues like this...as do I for him (our love language is sarcasm)...but this time he knew I needed a little something different. I melted into his arms while I choked back tears realizing how silly I was being, but how much my man loves me despite my idiosyncrasies.

But anyway, my advice for the day to myself and my kids is "TAKE CARE of YOUR TEETH" so you won't have to sit in the chair of torture ever again. No, I won't really transfer my fear of the dentist to them, but you can bet I will be monitoring their brushing and flossing more carefully.

Colossians in a Year...

I was visiting my friend Nancy's blog and she had a post about this free printable book on Ann Voskamp's blog for memorizing Colossians in a year. I was so excited to find this because, like I said in the Psalms ABC book post, I know how important it is to memorize scripture in context. We are still doing the Psalm ABCs along with this {because we can}. Our brains are incredible machines and we have to work them to keep them running well. So, we are going to tackle this challenge. We will probably start next Monday because I always start new things at the first of the week or month. So thankful for www.aholyexperience.com.

It is by far my favorite blog.

somebody's teething, biting and growing...

Preslie is doing the whole double fists in the mouth thing again...teething...and I forgot about the amber necklace until a friend reminded me yesterday. I need to get that thing back on her because it really does seem to help.

So, I have to wonder if her recent biting habit has anything to do with it or if it is just a part of her asserting her will...finally with her siblings. Exhibit A, Lucy's frown and bite marks on her little arm. They were fighting over a truck and Preslie attacked Lucy. I work in the nursery at church and last Sunday she was bullying the other kids. Fortunately, she didn't bite, but she did a lot of taking toys and pushing. I am glad I was there to discipline her. We are gonna nip this thing in the bud. I won't have a bully baby!

This is her other recent habit, which I also believe to be related to the teething, or growing. She has figured out how to open the pantry and can be found carrying various boxes of crackers and cereal most of the day. She just helps her little self to snacks whenever she pleases. We have rearranged the pantry so that at least she doesn't get into the "off limits" foods. I need to get a lock! She is so stinkin' cute, though...hard to resist!

Not-so-SuperMom...

Sometimes I try to do things that I see other moms do that seem fairly easy...like decorating cakes (let's not forget Lucy's Elmo cake and Jesse's dinosaur cake last year...SCARY) or cutting my son's hair. But, it just doesn't seem to work out for me. I have my giftings and talents, but these are not among them. Yesterday, I had had it with Jesse's hair. He has had 2 haircuts in the past month because the people couldn't seem to get it right and it still wasn't right. I can't even explain what was wrong about it except to say that it looked more like an old lady's haircut than a little boy's. So, I took James' clippers, set to 4 and began shaving his head. I figured I could get it to look somewhat like my brother's only longer. I had to chase him around the yard and the house because it kept pulling his hair and hurting him. My mom was here and she followed me around with the camera. It was quite entertaining, but kind of sad for the boy.
So, here is the final result...choppy and uneven...cute, but then again, a bit messed up. So, we make muffins to take our minds off the hair fiasco and reward them for a productive and positive morning at school.
And, here is what the living room looks like today with a week's worth of laundry and the littles' toys strewn about. Again, Not-so-SuperMom... The littles pretty much entertain themselves while we do school each day. When it was just Jesse and I was teaching Shelby I was always so good about finding productive things for him to do while I sat with her. Same with Lucy. While I was teaching the two oldest, I always had something "school-like" for Lucy to do. Now, I have lightened up so much. Free-play is productive for toddlers and 3 year olds...DUH. Why was I so intense about it?
Sometimes, they even just watch the entire YoGabbaGabba DVD over and over...and I am okay with that too. See, not-so-supermom...and I am okay with that.

My new best afternoon friend...

Never mind that this was James Christmas present, it is my new best friend each afternoon. It's a stove top espresso maker. My friend Marilena turned me on to these. She is Italian and knows everything there is to know about delicious coffee. I can make one perfect cup during rest time now, instead of 3/4 of a pot just to get the coffee to taste right. Making less than that totally changes the taste of the coffee. I am in love...

Jeka hair, wrestling and wii action

This little girl idolizes her aunt Jeka. Now that Jeka showed her that her hair can be straightened, she wants me to do it every once in a while. She will say, "I want Jeka hair," and then go around all day telling everyone she looks just like Jeka. Curly definitely fits her personality better, but she sure is cute with straight hair too. And, she does look like Jeka at that age when she has it.

We were going through some boxes the other day and we found this singlet. Jesse plans to start wrestling next school year, so he was excited to try it on. James told him to get in this pose for an official wrestling picture. Pretty intense! He looks like he feels tough.

The kids got a wii for Christmas and it is really bringing out their competitive spirits. James and Matt taught them how to play guitar hero and they love it. Lucy plays on her play guitar while they play so she can feel like she is a part of the action.

James boycotted guitar hero when it first came out because he thought it was an insult to all "real" musicians. He has no trouble enjoying it for the game that it is now that we have it.

Shelby is getting really good at it already. I can't play it to save my life, but I like to watch. Jesse and Lucy prefer the sports games and Nickelodeon Fit. I was really hesitant to bring any video games into our world because I have seen kids totally withdraw from real play and become irritable when they are playing. But, it really is a lot of fun for the whole family and we just limit the amount of time we are on it. I tend to operate in extremes all of the time and I am trying to mellow out a little bit. I am glad I gave into the wii. It is so much fun to laugh and go crazy with the kids.

Our artistic gingerbread house...

Before Christmas, my friend Margie from down the street invited us to make a Gingerbread House with her and her daughter Julia. The kids had a blast decorating and constructing to their heart's content. Granted, a few gumdrops and lots of frosting ended up in their tummies rather than on the house, but you'd never know that by the beauty of the final product! It is a work of art,

that's for sure!

I have to admit, Margie and I were a little disappointed with our ability to keep the house standing. After seeing dozens of beautiful erect houses made by friends and their kids on facebook or blogs, I have to wonder what we did wrong. The walls wouldn't stay up more than a few minutes at a time. It is about the process, and not the product, right?! We sure had fun!

It's Ronning Time...

There is an ongoing joke back in Kansas, with our old group of friends that the Ronnings don't live by the same clock the rest of us do. They are on Ronning Time. The cool thing about it, though, is that when you are hanging out with them, you get to be on Ronning Time too. They are a family who works hard and plays hard. They are probably better at living in the moment than anyone I know. When you are with them you never feel like they are chomping at the bit to finish a conversation and just get on with their day. They have the gift of fellowship and making whoever they are with feel like there is nowhere they'd rather be. We just finished up a full weekend of Ronning Time and it couldn't have come at a better time with my New Years resolution and all.

When I think about all of the special friends in our life, I can pinpoint how they each, individually, help us to become better people. I have friends that remind me to focus on my marriage or parenting skills, a friend who challenges my thinking and sharpens me,
one who reminds me to pray and be self-disciplined, another who encourages me to lighten up and have fun, and one who surprises me with gifts, and some who pick me up when I have fallen down. There is no one friend who could do all of those things, but thankfully God knows what we need and if we are open to new relationships He will surprise us with who he sends our way to fill those needs. The Ronnings help us to slow down and enjoy the everyday moments and remind us of the good in the world.

Rich is the kind of guy that never meets a stranger. I have seen him approach a homeless man at a bus station and come away after praying with him knowing his life story and having a piece of his heart truly broken by the experience. When we worked with the youth together it was almost mystical how easily he connected with teenagers from all backgrounds. One look into his eyes and you know he is the real deal...no politician blood inside that heart. He truly cares for everyone he meets.


Allison is the most positive and optimistic person I have ever met. Once, I hurt her feelings at a scrapbook weekend because I made fun of her cheerleader like enthusiasm. I was so ashamed of how sarcastic I was with her when I saw the wound in her eyes. She got me back though when she started doing the Debbie Downer "da da da..." whenever I'd go on one of my rampages. I do have to admit that even though it stinks to be associated with DD, I am thankful for her ribbing because it helps to remind me to think before I open my mouth, "Is this going to be a Debbie Downer thing to say?" I've never heard Allison seriously say a bad word about anyone. She has a sense of humor and can dish out some sarcasm herself, but it is never out of meanness. She truly has a gift of assuming the best of everyone. God has given her such a pure heart. Just being around her helps me to shed some of that ugly critical spirit that creeps up on me every once in a while. It is good stuff, kind of like exfoliating.


I am so thankful for the time our kids got to spend together. There is something so special, almost family-like that happens with kids when they spend a few days with each other. We saw it with the Wiltses and the Meisses when they came to stay and when we stayed with the Shores too. They get to know each other again super fast and make lifelong memories. They may not get much sleep, but hey, that's okay. They can always catch up. Grace, Cole and Camryn are so precious. The kids hated to see them go.


Such a great time, that Ronning Time! Hopefully, we will get to do it again real soon.